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Saturday, December 09, 2006

The true meaning of Xmas

Dear Whale Sushi

People these days are so materialistic. It’s all about me, me, me at Christmas time. People have forgotten the true spirit of Christmas, don’t you think?

Traditional of Turner, ACT


Dear Traditional

How right you are (although it’s actually spelt 'Xmas', not 'Christmas', after the treasure-hunt game Jesus used to play on his birthday every year, as in ‘Xmas-marks-the-spotmas’).

People have forgotten what Xmas was really about. Here’s a few little historical reminders of what we should be celebrating on 25 December:

  • Gift-giving. This really is at the heart of Xmas. Because it was his birthday, Jesus naturally got lots of presents. So on Xmas morning, conduct a little exercise in WWJD (what would Jesus do?)? Answer: Jesus would get presents and then be really appreciative if they were good and say a polite ‘thank you’ if not. Once you understand this, you’re that much closer to building a personal relationship with Our Lord.

  • Santa Claus. Yes, Virginia, there really was a Santa Claus. He was a portly Dutch gentleman named Stephen Van den Heuven who lived down the street from Jesus. Most days he could be seen out the front of his house in his red under-wear, watering his lawn. How and why he came to be known as the North-pole dwelling giver of presents to the world’s children is lost to history.

  • Sony Playstations. Today it’s impossible to imagine an Xmas day without those familiar black boxes but that’s exactly what Jesus had to contend with. He made do with an old gameboy until his twenty-third birthday.

  • Easter eggs. These were traditionally hidden as part of Xmas-marks-the-spotmas but later, after Christ was crucified and then rose from the dead to redeem humanity, they were moved to a new holiday in the early part of the year which was designed to pad out the slack period between New Year and Queen’s birthday.

  • Praying Mantis Day. Throughout the Nineteenth Century, the day after Boxing Day was known as Praying Mantis Day and it was de rigeur for people to exchange large stick insects (or a small clutch of mantis eggs for mere acquaintances). Over time this tradition has largely dropped away. However I can’t help but think how much nicer it would be if we extended the holiday season one more day, don’t you agree?

4 comments:

elsewhere said...

Pray Mantis Day...that's so cool. can it really be true?

redcap said...

That's hilarious, Nick. LMAO. I love the idea of people exchanging stick insects. It has just about as much meaning as Christmas. Sorry, Xmas.

Aurelius said...

Gold!

Kay aka Kirsten said...

Any extra holidays are alright by me!