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Thursday, December 21, 2006

Everybody is beautiful in their own special way. Especially me.

I note with cool disdain that the Australian blog awards are on again. I'm certainly not interested in the slightest in that kind of popularity contest at all, in the least, even a little bit or to any degree whatsoever. I'm above such things. I really don't care how many people read me (I only check sitemeter several times a day because I accidentally click on the little button. I'm in this to help the environment. And disadvantaged people everywhere.)

Interesting to see I've already been nominated for several awards in the following categories:

  • Best blog post using five or fewer words for "Too busy. Will blog later."

  • Best blog post providing textual description to vision-impaired people of lithographs of dogs riding in scale-models of armoured vehicles (NSW/ACT Division) for "War never loses its spots: images of dalmation pups commanding light tanks in Korea 1950-1953." (I'm very proud of this post but I don't expect to win. It's a crowded field.)

  • Best blog post about char-grilled eggplant (but, disappointingly, not for for best blog post about pan-seared aubergine which I'm rather upset about) for "How purple is my eggplant (lipstick): two months in drag in an Andalusian restaurant kitchen."

  • Best blog about masturbation in a cross-cultural context for my other blog Onanism in Oman: Jerk-off of Arabia. (I really think that one is breaking down barriers and helping to combat misunderstanding of the Islamic world in Australia. It was also great fun to do.)

  • Best blog post about global development issues for "Why don't poor people in poor countries just go to supermarkets like everybody else?"

  • Best blog ever except for all the others.
Ha ha ha. Light-heartedness all round! Jolly japes for all!

But if someone doesn't freakin nominate me for:

  • Best ACT blog
  • Best new blog
  • Best humorous blog

then I'll freakin cry. Alone. In the toilet. With a tim tam.

(Does that sound needy?)

6 comments:

Galaxy said...

Yes, they're a strange beast aren't they, those blog awards. There is an element of feeling left out if you haven't been nominated by your peers, but you don't really want to admit that so it's better to dismiss them as lacking credibility. Still I think some work could be done on making the categories a little less public sphere focussed. Where are the craft/cooking/hobbies categories, for instance?

I would nominate you as the Best Cooking Blog, just for the whale sushi recipe.

elsewhere said...

At least you're honest.

I was wondering myself why there wasn't a Best Cat-blogging category or a Most Boring Blog Award.

You would definitely win Best Whale Blog.

nick cetacean said...

Weeell, I don't really want in to the awards for the chance at glory...

I really just want the traffic and exposure it brings.

Elsewhere: I hope you're not suggesting that you'd be nominated for the most boring blog because (i) your blog is not at all boring and (ii) I have a monopoly on self-pity in these pages...

elsewhere said...

No, I was thinking more of Otto von ffurenburger's blog!

Self-pity is something of a Virgoan trait, tho...

Plum's Penny Dreadful said...

I didn't even know they GAVE awards for this stuff. SO annoying. Really. I mean, it's like every pastime needs an award ceremony, every tradegy needs a monument (if it's a REALLY BIG tragedy then a PARK is more apt)and everybody wants to be rated for the all of the things that they do. We are a word of feedback feeders.It's such pressure. I bet I can win the Whiniest Least BackBone Award. I'm really going to go for it---give it my all---just you wait and see.

audrey said...

this might sound strange, but did you live in Oman?