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Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Blog of Binky Merryweather: lothario, trouble-maker, elf

24 December 2006

[Previously: the semi-secret blog of 'Nick Claus']

The old man is working us to the bone. I’m so dog tired I hardly know which way to fart. If I have to solder another Playstation I’m gonna jam it up his merry twinkling Xmas-hole. Everyone’s pulling triple shifts and we’re up to our freakin pointed ears in reindeer faeces.

I’m blogging from an air-conditioning vent in the main hall while I puff on a pack of Winnie reds. When I finish I need to wrap this laptop up for some over-privileged little shit who should have got a smack upside the head but instead is gonna get $2000 worth of cutting edge IT. But I’ll throw in the DVD-drive jammed with cigarette butts for free.

If I stand up on my toes, I can see making Mrs Claus making rocky-road in the kitchen. Damn I wish those hands were all over my marshmallows right now. Feels like there’s a candy cane in my pants. Wow that Mama Claus is some kind of primo MILF (apart from the hairs on her chin and the fact that she’s got a caboose you could land a sleigh on. But hey, I like my puddings plump.)

I think the old guy is starting to suspect that she digs my little elfin pink-bits. Better get back to it or the jolly fat man will send one of his hench-elves looking for me (fuckn WorkChoices). I don’t need any more trouble after they found the 300 iPods I made with the gay porn pre-loaded…

Update: 7pm. Finally! It’s dark and St Prick is off around the world on his annual gift-giving frenzy. He won’t be back til dawn and then he’ll drink himself into a coma until mid-Jan.

Time to kick back with a monster joint and three-fifths of Jacky D. And if Mrs C is real lucky I’ll let her open her present early…

5 comments:

Aurelius said...

Would this post be a breach of the ban on advertising cigarettes via electronic media?

MadameBoffin said...

I'm just waiting for the hot Binky in action shots ;)

Ariel said...

Oh-oh, I hope he's not giving Mrs C. the present featured on Ms Fits's post yesterday ...

http://reasonsyouwillhateme.blogspot.com/2006/12/special-christmas-box.html

jessie mo said...

giggling away in the deserted corral.

Anonymous said...

I got the BlackBerry Storm few days ago and I hate it! So I want to switch to Iphone 3G or Iphone 3GS. But I have to cancel my account, and that costs about $200 at Verizion I think.. What can I do to get the Iphone 3G without having to pay $250 or any other ideas I could do to stop using BlackBerry Storm and switch to Iphone 3G/3GS?



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