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Saturday, March 31, 2007

Biggest. Highest. Fastest. Grossest. Lesser known world records (vol 1)

The largest white-head in recorded history belonged to Keith Aaron Clark of Solihull in the West Midlands in the United Kingdom. The pimple, located just off the centre of his right cheek was so large that little children would toboggan down it, in the process scaring small birds and animals who were foraging upon it. In secondary school, the zit was forced to occupy another desk and was ultimately required to register with the school in its own right (and almost surpassed Clark’s own exam results).

On medical advice, the pimple was burst. Two burly firemen ran from opposites of a football field and shoulder-charged the white-head. The resulting rupture contaminated the field for a period of three year before hazardous materials experts deemed that it was again safe to tread upon the surface without special protection.

Today, Clark is a dentist living in Tottenham in London. He hides from the limelight caused by his earlier fame but sometimes visits the scale model of his zit on display at Madame Tussaud’s.

4 comments:

meva said...

It was my dream, when young, to not have pimples, but rather to have one enormous zit that could be obliterated in one foul swoop. Just as you described.

As they say, be careful of what you desire.

Jo said...

Where are Joey, Snake and Wheels when you need 'em?

killerrabbit said...

Eww that was amazingly graphic. It almost describes one or two pimples I have had in my life time.

jessie mo said...

grosssss.