Haute cuisine fightin' words
- I resent your remarks about my paw-paw and arugula pesto!
- The reduction method used by your sous-chef to produce this veal consommé is patently inferior and allows inferences to be drawn about the overall management of this kitchen.
- Call this cotoletta alla milanese? Call it by its true name -- weiner schnitzel!
- Your reliance upon garlic is telling.
- Your fusion of Asian and Southern European flavours was ultimately unsuccessful and undeserving of even the epithet ‘interesting’.
- Were you trained in England?
- You sauté like a faggot.
6 comments:
And what about that great line 'can you please pass the salt again'...haven't cooked my father-in-law a single meal he hasn't said it to (shit sentence I know, but I'm sure you get what I mean).
That's cute...
"Actually could you bundle up all the condiments and parachute them down this end of the table as a little care package..."
No salt, thank you. Pass the bucket.
Actually overheard in Fitzroy eatery upon unsatifactory wait-bot response to customer complaint:
"You're shitting in my mouth and calling it risotto".
I understand that the arborio was no longer al dente.
Oh, God that's funny, with the added zingy yet starchy zestiness that only comes with reality.
This is brilliant.
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