Friday, February 09, 2007

Haute cuisine fightin' words

  • I resent your remarks about my paw-paw and arugula pesto!
  • The reduction method used by your sous-chef to produce this veal consommé is patently inferior and allows inferences to be drawn about the overall management of this kitchen.
  • Call this cotoletta alla milanese? Call it by its true name -- weiner schnitzel!
  • Your reliance upon garlic is telling.
  • Your fusion of Asian and Southern European flavours was ultimately unsuccessful and undeserving of even the epithet ‘interesting’.
  • Were you trained in England?
  • You sauté like a faggot.


ThirdCat said...

And what about that great line 'can you please pass the salt again'...haven't cooked my father-in-law a single meal he hasn't said it to (shit sentence I know, but I'm sure you get what I mean).

nick cetacean said...

That's cute...

"Actually could you bundle up all the condiments and parachute them down this end of the table as a little care package..."

meva said...

No salt, thank you. Pass the bucket.

FDB said...

Actually overheard in Fitzroy eatery upon unsatifactory wait-bot response to customer complaint:

"You're shitting in my mouth and calling it risotto".

I understand that the arborio was no longer al dente.

nick cetacean said...

Oh, God that's funny, with the added zingy yet starchy zestiness that only comes with reality.

Plum's Penny Dreadful said...

This is brilliant.