Thursday, July 05, 2007

Woe is freakin' me (out)

I just found this old post of Killer-rabbit's (took a while to get around to my customary ego-surfing).

(Yes, this is another 'why don't people like me?' post. And yes I've been doing a few of these of late. And yes, this is a large part of the reason for the birth of Snarkeology. But this is a different kind of whiny post. This is a whiny post looking for answers.)

I used to post a when crustaceans attack and then took an 18-month hiatus and came back with this site. Periodically, people tell me (as KR did above): 'dude you are teh shit, teh funy and probably teh spunky hotness too for all I can see. I want to have your little comedy babies.' This is nice -- don't get me wrong, this is not what I'm whining about.

It's the fact that despite that surely though I'm on the 48th percentile of quality bloggers in a world of 7 billion bloggers (everybody on Earth has at least one, some have two) I can't seem to pull much in the way of readership. My all time high is 43 hits in a day (and the bottom is about 5). Some other bloggers bend down to scratch themselves and come back to find more hits than that...

Also -- not so many comments but I suspect these two things are linked in some unknowable fashion.

It is with pointless life-characterising envy that I see other newer bloggers zoom past me in the readership department. Wuhuh?

So what am I doing wrong? What am I not doing at all?

Comments, er, welcome. Please don't feel the need to just say 'dude you are teh lite of teh world, please don't ever bring the darkness for it will be a world of teh pain for teh me' because as nice as that is (and it is nice!) I just want to avoid making the mistakes of the past (which Germany wasn't able to do so why should I be any different?)

Are the any particular technical tricks that work a treat? Someone I should be sleeping with? (Because I tried that with my wife and it doesn't bring me any hits I can tell you).

And I promise promise promise this will be the last such whiny post until the next one.


TimT said...

Did I ever tell you you're my hero?

TimT said...

You're everything I would wish to be!

TimT said...

I could fly higher than the eagle...

TimT said...

For you are the wind beneath my (etc, etc, etc, bla bla bla bla bla...)

nick cetacean said...

Sometimes Tim I think you're responsible for 17% of all telecommunications transmissionss in Australia.

That you maintain a high level of quality is testament to your greatness ( :-) rather than ;-) )

TimT said...

What's that second emoticon, a saucy wink from a person with a double chin?

Ahem. I haven't looked at my numbers for ages, but I do check links a fair bit. I'm a serial commenter on a number of blogs, so that helps. Also, I've made a couple of blog buddies in America, which isn't bad either - for a few reasons, blog linking tends to be a national thing, and if you can get links from folks like that, the number of readers will go up too.

Blog audiences are fairly small anyway, except for the big newspaper blogs.

Zoe said...

Come and have a cuddle, you.

And yes, leaving comments will encourage people to click through, as will writing posts titled "teenage cock" (true) and being the 7th result on google for "im in ur cats" (also true).

Most of these people will stay at your site for 0.38 seconds, so don't fret.

That said, blogs might not be the best place to get noticed. Maybe stand up for you? You're pretty enough.

nailpolishblues said...

I have a rant [or three] against a particular airline which uses some, ah, creative language and sends people [especially one sick little dude in America] my way fairly often.

Otherwise, commenting all over the shop, pissing people off [I never do that though], and having other people link you in a post seems to work. Not that I can get people to stay though.

Making friends at Much Ado About Whatever also seems to work.

Oh and bickering across several blogs - not only does it make people suspect a prior relationship with someone you've never met but people become oddly interested. That might just be me though.

killerrabbit said...

Well i can't help because my 10 or so comments per post don't scream blogging superstardom, but commenting on others blogs does seem to help. I think thats how Steph got her fabo numbers.

As I said in my email I also think its because your posts are creatively very good - what are we meant to say aside from gee whiz that was a good post?

Anonymous said...

I don't have a blog but, you know, some of my best friends are bloggers...
I am however a serial lurker. This is only my second post ever and it's in defence of the innocent lurking at blogs.
I enjoy reading blogs (this one, but especially design/art blogs like decor8, designsponge, sugarloop etc) but I don't comment. Ever. I'm not interested in the 'that's good', 'me too' comments that some people make (although I take the point that this is very reassuring to the writer) and I can't think of anything clever enough to say otherwise. So I like to look, but that's all.
Great blog by the way. Looking forward to Snarkeology too.

redcap said...

Sorry, man I can't help either. I only get about 50 hits a day too. Perhaps you should be asking Steph over at Much Ado About Sumthin? She da shiz, with 500 and something hits a day. Perhaps you should talk more aabout poo and sex and falling down? And include some pictures of your cleavage?

nick cetacean said...

Thanks all. Christ I swear never to do one of these whiny posts again.

They sicken me.


PetStarr said...

try blogging about tv programs... you'll be getting upwards of 1000 hits a day no worries.

elsewhere said...

If you stick lots of photos in your blog, you'll increase your number of hits greatly -- mind you, for all the wrong reasons.

Spike said...

Adding this in the presumption you have Obsessive Compulsive Comments Checking Disorder like every other blogger.

You gotta post often.

You gotta post regular.

2-3 days every week. Doesn't have to be long but no memes.